asteroid B612

The paper I wrote last spring for my medieval Latin class got accepted for presentation at the Lousiana Med/Ren Consortium in Oct. I'm glad, because I decided to forego the paper that got accepted to the Student Research Conference of the Conference on Faith and History. Time and money. Also, the CFH isn't really as helpful for me anymore. The main reason for going would primarily to see friends, and that doesn't really justify the expense for professional reasons. If I wanted to see these people, I could just go to Covenant's Homecoming or something. It would be cheaper and not as far or as in a cold, remote place as the CFH conference in Wisconsin or some cold Midwestern state is.

I've mentioned before that I'm teaching one class one evening a week at a university just a couple of miles from where I live in NOLA. I've spent a lot of time preparing, and we meet for the first time on Thursday evening. I still have to put a few finishing touches on the syllabus, and make up their handouts and "primary source exercises". (It's a one semester music history survey.)

I'm aware that at 26 years old I may be one of the younger ones in the classroom, which was part of the reason I went to the bother of getting the short haircut. I think it makes me look older, at least older than a teeny-bopper pony-tail. But I don't think it worked. Last week I came in to turn in my contract, and the secretary, upon finding out my business, laughed, introduced herself warmly and said, "I had thought you were one of the students." This morning I came in to fill out my W2 form. The secretary smiled and said, "I thought you were one of the students." I was walking along the sidewalk on my way to the library this evening, and as I passed someone whom I presumed was a professor, he smiled at me and said, "Welcome back." From this evidence I deduce that my haircut hasn't worked.

Now in each case I could see why I could be mistaken as a student not for the haircut but for another article of paraphenalia: the backpack. I haven't been carrying around a grown-up looking purse, because the only purse I have is like a suitcase, and I hate carrying it around. Besides, I can't put my laptop and seven library books in it. (Okay, it's not that much like a suitcase, but it is somewhat unwieldy for everyday use, though to its defense it's perfect for traveling.) The backpack could make me look more undergrad-y.

Except the reason I'm carrying a backpack should is because I feel older. I have a normal briefcase-y bag with a laptop pouch and everything. In fact, it's a pretty darn good bag. It has all the perfect compartments for pens, cell phone, business cards, etc. I really like it. But when I start throwing the computer and all the books I carry around, it puts a lot of strain on the one shoulder it's slung around, and the trek from the parking lot is greater everyday (I can't wait 'til people start skipping class). So Chris has this bookbag lying around. Even though it doesn't have a laptop pouch, I throw everything in there anyway. It's a whole lot easier to carry my stuff around evenly distributed by two padded straps. I'm feeling older.

I realized recently that I probably have already hit the peak of my body's prime. My metabolism isn't working as well (i.e. it's easier to put on than take off nowadays); my joints get creaky from sitting too long; I go to the bathroom in the night more often; I often leave the house with a little toothpaste stuck in the corner of my mouth. All these are signs that the Prime of my Youth may be starting to wane for the first time in my life.

But! My solace is that I at least look like one of the students.

Well, I guess episodic ravings of my semester can't last forever. I know, I know, we've only just passed one week. And I still love life, the universe, and everything. But I will do silly things that mess up day: like sticking my car's registration/insurance in a book as a bookmark in the car and then panic because I notice they're not in the ashtray (my glove compartment fell off years ago--and I don't ash, so the ashtray is actually a very good spot to keep them) (Mom2, I don't want to hear those groans and sighs and rolling of the eyes!! I punish myself enough!!). Then I forgot my gamba, so had to cancel my first lesson, which is pretty dorky. Then I realize that I don't really understand what a ratio is. What is a ratio? what is the relationship really of x:y? Because I'm learning that understanding a ratio is pretty helpful if you want to understand anything of early medieval musical theory.

On the plus side, I want to say that I'm really enjoying C. S. Lewis's scholarly works. The book into which my car's registration/insurance found their way was his Allegory of Love. How he can break down something so complex as the history and philosophy of courtly love into something so simple and still so relevant for scholarship over 50 years later is really amazing. I could take him or leave him as a theologian, but as a medievalist, I really am enjoying him.

I'm writing a paper on a motet by Machaut to complete my incomplete of the Medieval Music Survey from last semester. I've been enjoying it considerably and finding extremely cool stuff in it. I've even been able to get over the whole poetry thing a bit. I've always considered myself not really equipped to deal with any poetic text. I look at it blankly having no clue what is going on structurally or content-wise. Though this does bother me a little bit, it doesn't wash over me in angst. After all it's not really my field, so of course, I wouldn't have had the training to deal with it. My medieval Latin class last semester and the Machaut seminar in Italy have helped a lot with just the basic day to day analyzing text, as well as the medieval Latin world, and then understanding 14th c French vernacular poetry world. (My personal theory: Boethius is like an intellectual Attila the Hun--he ripples through the medieval world with effects immeasurable.) So understanding this motet as well as I have is cause for a great deal of glee.

Then yesterday I learned a valuable piece of information. Our library actually has on microfilm manuscripts of Machaut's self-compiled complete works! So yesterday afternoon/evening I went down there and spent hours pouring over MSS A and E. It was so fab!!! I made some copies of the motet I'm working on, as well as a couple interesting miniatures (the little illustrations in a ms). I was so excited that I was blabbering nonsense to myself in my head!! Seeing the whole ms (even if on microfilm) greatly enhanced how understood the ms (as opposed to just having pages of photocopied facsimiles). I can't imagine how much more seeing the thing in real life would be!

In fact, I was so excited that by the time I finally got home, I skipped movie-watching for reading articles. Yippee!

As I approach the end of my first week of classes for the semester, I must say that I'm in a much better place psychologically than I was last spring. I should be super stressed out--I have a ton on my plate (3 classes, 2 of which are seminars, auditing another, TAing another, adjuncting another, and 2 papers in debt). Rather I feel the euphoric enthusiasm that got me into this whole thing. At this moment I reflect on my good fortune and the blessing that it is at my university where I find myself. My biggest enemy is my car and the daily 166 miles it absorbs as I go back and forth to school. My department is wonderful. My professors are wonderful. I love being here. This alone, I learn more and more, is nothing to take lightly. I consider myself to be having a better than average graduate school experience. It is what every bright undergrad hopes graduate school will be. I go from class to class with stimulating (mostly) interaction with professors and (sometimes) fellow students (I'm the only doctoral student in musicology at my university--thus have different interests and priorities than my performance major collegues). And the professor I'm TAing for will help me be a better teacher.

Last spring I hit a wall for me personally. I had difficulty coming to terms with the vast amount of skills and knowledge I feel like I should have command of as a professional scholar. This is an awful weight that can drag and drag. It sounds silly to get worked up about feeling stupid: but when you're entering a profession where people are paying you to add to what is known, it can be overwhelming. There were other things that were bothering me, too. But they're not really relevant to my discussion here. And I must reiterate that a couple of really encouraging professors have been a huge blessing.

The seminar in Italy helped me move from the plateau to the next level. During the seminar, I was excited about what we were studying. Right after the seminar I said most assuredly that it was an incredibly stimulating experience. But it is only after I re-enter my semester do I realize how helpful it really was. The skills that it forced me to hone and to re-consider in a new light, the better understanding of 14th c history and musical repertory, the people I met...It was one of those experiences that I can't believe I was allowed to be part of!

It is thus that I begin a new semester. Refreshed and invigorated. This is my last year of coursework. It is also my last year of funding, as I was only given 3 years of my meager package. So with general exams, diss topic, and the need to pay the bills looms in about a year and a little less, I had a few disscussions this week with relevant people before the pressures of the semester begin to mount and I don't have time for these disscussion.

The grad student advisor in the School of Music office offered some helpful information. If my area faculty ask, I can get a 4th year of funding. If they do that, they cannot admit a new doctoral student with funding, so I have to wait to see what the applications look like in the spring semester before I know or not about that. Also this advisor confirmed my fears about the 7 year limit. When I entered my PhD program 2 years ago, the 7 year clock began with no hope of an extension. The Graduate School is being extremely strict about this rule. The 7 year limit is perfectly reasonable for someone in the sciences, not so much for a medievalist. And because I entered without a master's degree, I've had to take more than usual of those 7 years in classes. I'm in Year 3; when I'm done with classes in May, I will have 4 years in which to take my doctoral exams (wh. I will probably do the following Sept, giving me a year from now to study for them), choose a dissertation topic (more later on that one), and write the dissertation. Funding-wise, I really hope I can get a fourth year of my assistantship, because I can't apply for dissertation fellowships (which I plan to do as soon as I can in the disseration process) until I have a topic and pretty strong project. Becuase, I may be able to work part-time and write a dissertation in 4 years, but I really doubt I can manage a full-time job and a diss, because I'm a mortal person with an average brain.

So while I begin getting myself situated for studying for exams, I'm also considering possible dissertation ideas, so that the last chance for courses can potentially feed into that as a time-saving device. So....something late 14th/early 15th c Valois France oriented. This is where I'm going to begin to look. The other day I listened to Du Fay's (1397-147somthing) Missa L'homme arme again, a piece I know very well. For the first time, I heard Machaut (c. 1300-1377) instead of Josquin (c. 1450-1521). For the first time, I heard where he had come from instead of where he was going. It was an amazing experience. Too often in the classroom Machaut gets categorized in the middle ages, and Du Fay in the Renaissance. A distinguishable break is made. A skip is made between Machaut and Du Fay. If we're lucky, Ciconia might make an appearance. I'm very intrigued. I want to find out how Machaut got to Du Fay...to take the time to consider how go from Jean II to Charles VII in France, to think about Philip the Bold, Charles d'Orleans, and Louis of Anjou. These are people that get gapped in musicology. Well, maybe 'gapped' is too strong a word. But they are often passed over in the rush to get to Josquin, Burgundy, Italy, and the glory days fo the Renaissance papal court. Diss project? Making a manuscript edition sounds like an attractive project, because I've already begun to acquire skills for that kind of work in my seminars. It's a project with workable parameters already defined. And depending on the codex, it can exist as a microcosm of all the things I'm interested in--music, patronage, history, ideas...We'll see....

So there is where my thoughts have been straying as of late....

I had a really great day yesterday. I'm working on my "five year plan", that is what to do between now and five years from now, which is the deadline the Graduate School has for me to be absolutely finito with my PhD. But I have to read for class now, so I'll throw my thougts on my electronic/world wide web notebook later...

Well, the first day of my semester has come and gone. Things have gone fairly smoothly. It's nice to have a few friends to look forward to seeing again.

My desk at school is a mess, too. But I think I can manage this mess. *sigh* At least I already bought notebooks and paper for my classes. Usually I'm running around with a packet of filler paper forgetting to bring notebooks. And I know where two of pens are. That's pretty good, too. And I've already bought the books I need. Go me! And I didn't pay full price for any of them. Double go me!

So what's up for this semester?
*the class I'm TAing for, as always, the undergrad survey of music history (very glad about this one. love the prof I'll be working for.)
*music in the modern era (or I prefer to call it Music History of the Most Recent Eras)
*history of theory I (music theory from 500-1600 approx)
*some kind of Renaissance music seminar about borrowing. not really sure what it's going to be about. it'll meet tomorrow.
*and then I'm auditing an all Cicero class in Latin. Very excited about this! We're starting off with De amicitia. This will a lot of fun, I think. And I love the professor; she's so inspiring. I'm always coming out of there wishing I had gone into classics.

Okay. Off to library! C'mon, we can't waste any time here. (esp since I'm still in paper debt. *blah*)

I mentioned earlier in my litany of desk woes that I had a hard time keeping an internet connection.

Mystery solved! My phone chord is sort of broken. Not completely but enough so that I kept getting kicked off.

___

On Saturday All things COnsidered I was listening to on the way home from grocerying a new reggae/rap sort of French guy who is performing in Occitan! How cool is that! Then he proceeds to explain that the difference between Occitan and French is like the difference between Linux and Windows (was that a respective comparison? I don't knwo).

Cheers!

Well, I've redone the look of the blog. (Obviously). I've been meaning to do this for months, but just haven't. I figured this being the Last Day of Summer Vacation (weekends don't count) I better get on it.

Frank is the lizard that sometimes lives on our porch. But like all smart creatures, he keeps out of the heat, so we haven't seen him recently. He was up here earlier, but then I'm took him down, because I was in a bad mood. I've been meaning to bring him back for a long time, and finally he returns.

He was a lot of fun to take pictures of last year. I have many portraits of Frank, but this one was his most philosophical pose. So cute!

Well, the heat is back in force. *Groan* My mood goes inversely with the temperature, so I'm kind of grumpy and full of malaise. All I want to do is curl up and watch movies, sitting in front of our window unit. Not beside it, mind you, because then I wouldn't feel a thing. We've ordered a new unit from Home Depot, and we'll put this one that belongs to the apt in the closet. It's not dead enough for our landlord to replace yet. (How dead does it have to be?!) Well, it occasionally spit out some cool air if it's not spazzing out, so it's not dead enough.

Last night I finally watch the extended verson of The Two Towers. Of course, it was great, though I don't really dig battle scenes. Thus I prefer extended versions, because they include more monologue/dialogue scenes.

I've been really good about going to the library every day this week to work, so maybe I'll sit and read for my Last Day of Summer Vacation. Or I wonder if my little friends are getting out their little purple pool....

Writing Resources...big time! grammar, style, etc.