asteroid B612

For some of you getting to church this morning may have been somewhat eventful due to winter storms. We don't really get those. If it's wintry weather it's not really what you could a storm, per se. What we do get this time of year is Parades!

Today on our way to church we saw parade floats lining up, and on our way home had to detour a bit around another parade. Yes, Mardi Gras season has started. For residents of New Orleans it means adding a little time to get places in case you run into an unforeseen parade route. It means eating King Cake, being careful you don't chomp down on the plastic baby Jesus enclosed somewhere in the cake. It also means some evening and weekend entertainment coming up. I'm getting excited. This year I really want to go to some parades!

So this weekend, I have ventured forth on my quest in full force.

Earlier in the week, I stopped off at the Old Navy and Gap outlets on my way home from school (they're closer to Baton Rouge), but they didn't have maternity sections. In fact, none of the outlet stores had maternity. Scratch.

BUT one the Gap employees at the outlet recommended a store at a mall in Baton Rouge. Her exact words were, "They have a really great maternity section." So yesterday, despite the pouring down rain, Erica and I made use of our class-free Friday afternoon and went to the mall. It turned out that the really great maternity section was a couple shelves of over-priced unseasonal clothes. Even the stuff on sale was way too expensive, not that I would've wanted it. I simply can't buy sweaters, it doesn't get cold enough here for it to be worth it. We did have fun ogling our way through Baby Gap, though. I think it's the first time I've been able to get at and coo over cute baby stuff. (Since Chris really isn't the cooing type.) Scratch.

We also looked at a couple of other stores in the mall. Nothing. My favorite part was when Erica loudly said, "Is that a dress or a shirt?" It pretty much sums up my whole view of the maternity clothes enterprise. Ha! Scratch.

I did get directions to an Old Navy with maternity. So after several wrong turns and missed quirky turns and pouring rain, I finally made it. I was so discouraged by this point that I practically wept for joy when the Old Navy actually had a maternity section! They had great stuff. I especially like how they turned the awful waistband into an opportunity for style, with a fun floral print. I was able to pick up a couple of Tshirts and another tank, which were all on sale. I wanted to get a pair of pants, too, but they were still a bit on the pricey side, and I thought I'd try a few more options before spending the extra money. Because a good pair of casual pants or jeans is what I reallly need now! Scratch.

Chris promised to brave the Thrift store market with me today. I haven't been much a of thrift store person here in NOLA, because I just haven't been able to find good stuff the times I've gone. I think successful thrift stores depend on the area feeding into it. Imagine St. Elmo feeding into a thrift store and that's New Orleans. Not entirely bad, but not really great stuff either. I didn't find anything. And what irked me even more was that at the Salvation Army, maternity was incorporated in the Plus sizes. Upon closer scrutiny, it wasn't even normal maternity, rather Plus maternity. :-S But Chris found a couple things, so the trip wasn't entirely wasted. Scratch.

So we drove around a little more to see if we could find thrift stores that we hadn't thought of in Uptown the uptown area where the all the wealthy people live. As we were driving down the road, we wondered why cars were stopped, and then realized there was a parade going on! Oh yea, Mardi Gras starts this weekend! St. Charles Ave. is a two-lane road with the street car line going down the middle. The parade was one side, and we could drive on the other. It was fun driving along the parade route with the windows down watching floats going by tossing beads, and high school bands strutting their stuff. I love living in New Orleans.

Anyway. So after a couple of entirely frustrating and discouraging days of maternity clothes shopping, I have a few quibbles with the maternity clothes industry. For one thing, only one part of your body changes drastically and needs accomodation, the belly. With this simple fact in mind, the maternity clothes industry could be greatly reformed. Everything else stays the same, just add room for the belly. So you don't need an A-line shirt, your back isn't growing, too. Also, maternity does not mean plus size. You don't need something much bigger anywhere else except the belly. So conflating maternity and plus is not helpful. Why are these simple truths so hard to find in practice!!!??!?!

Upon conclusion, I would like to post a Desperate Plea. If anyone has summer maternity clothes in size small or extra-small (for tops--I'm only 5'2" remember--although small will still work in the tops category. Medium is way too big.) and you would be willing to lend them to me until July, I would be more than willing to pay postage and take very good care of them and mail them back to you as soon I can get to the post office after having the baby. I now have two Tshirts and two tanks with shelf-bra. So pants are next on my list of things I need to start feeling more comfortable. My email is jjone84[at]lsu[dot]edu, if you would be willing.

In other news: I think I'm starting to feel Elvis move. :-)

UPDATE: Yes, I have tried Target last weekend. I got a decent pair of black pants there on sale, which will be good for teaching. Our Target really has a dearth of selection, though. And they, too, have the unfortunate view that maternity and plus sizes should be conflated. Not so!! It was very difficult sorting through their maternity section, even with Chris's able hands. I was really disappointed, because just walking by it seems that they have a good section, but not really, at least at ours...

I have a weird reading palette at the moment. In one minute I'm knee-deep and uber-excited about 11th century paleography, and the next I'm poring over the breast-feeding book.

This week going to school has been weird. I think I get really psychologically down about the commute to Baton Rouge, facing it going and coming. I sort of drag through the day. But this past Monday and Wednesday, I've ended my days on pretty positive notes.

I was so depressed about school stuff on Monday. I hated going to classes--they were all boring, and I feel like I should be having a fantastic time and getting all I can, because this is my last semester of classes ever! But no, my Renaissance survey is basically review...which is okay, it'll fill in a few history gaps here and there, but for the most part, been there. Unfortunately, I had to drop to the readings in Medieval history seminar, which I was looking forward to as the most fun class, and Medieval notation is fun, but there's a disparity of backgrounds, and since this is my 3rd year here, I'm the most experienced in the class. I'm definitely learning, and it's getting better.

In fact, class yesterday was getting me more pumped. I love getting a page of a facsimile (a photo of the original) of a manuscript and figuring out what the script is saying, figuring out the musical notation, what kind of book it is, etc. It's like detective work and gives me such a rush. It's more exciting each time I take a seminar like this, because now I have previous seminar's experience, and I can do that much more each time. For instance, I figured out how to read a lot of writing like this SOOO exciting!

Monday evening I had a good chat with my advisor that helped me put some direction into projects that have been flailing a bit. An inspiring chat does wonders for me. I'll be sad when I'm not the student anymore.

I got this new alarm clock last summer. It's nice, little, runs on a battery, but unlike other clocks I have had, I have the worst time remembering to turn on the alarm after I've set it! This morning was one of the unfortunate occasions. Little fear, though, I wake up at regular intervals to go to the bathroom, so this morning, woke up 45 minutes later than intended, but managed to be fairly speedy. (Except for the 10 minutes in which I could not find my glasses! They were on the towels in the bathroom closet. Yea, I put them there last night. !??? ) On top of it all, when I woke up from having overslept, I woke abruptly from a very bad dream and promptly started sobbing. Needless to say, the day has not started off well. But I don't feel frazzled, just kind of bleary.

I feel more pregnant than I have thus far...even moreso than when I stared at Mutant Me in the dressing room mirror. As I plodded from the Great Parking Plains and up four stories (the elevator didn't answer my summons this morning) with all my stuff (computer bag, book bag, food bag), I felt like I had endured a great physical trial, only exacerbated by the hour I spent of unpacking books. I keep wanting to ask Elvis, "Are you okay? Are you surviving, too?"

I feel heavy and tired. And it's only lunchtime.

When my brother and sister were here for Christmas, we spent one cold afternoon at the park taking some pictures...hopefully, there are some Sam can use for senior-picturing.

Here are a few of my favorites. A few cute ones of Luisa, too. Oh yea, Happy Birthday, Sam!!!

Sam does a great impression of "Singing in the Rain!"

Waiting for the streetcar.

Riding down St. Charles Ave.

By the river.

Sometimes I'm Sleepy, sometimes I'm Dopey, hopefully, some day I'll be Doc. Sometimes I'm Hungry (the forgotten dwarf), tonight, I think I'm mostly Grumpy.

After one week of school I'm ready for another break. Too tired. I didn't get home from Baton Rouge until after 8 pm on Wed and after 9 pm on Friday. I've been unpacking all the stuff (not mine) in the room where I have my office space, which is sort of like an extra library for a project of my professor's. In Normal Life, I'm perfectly happy unpacking all the stuff. Actually, I'm quite willing even now, but in Pregnant Life, it has been a little annoying, and I dread going back tomorrow. Boxes of books everywhere. After lifting a few (there wasn't ANYONE around to lift them for me), I resorted to dragging and tugging. I think I have most of them open on the floor now, so I'm just down to organizing the library. I wish I had an elf that I could just boss around..."no, no, put the medieval philosophy section there"... It just completely wore me out.

But before I could go home, I had to go to the library to use scanner and image software to create an assignment for my students, and nothing seemed to work like it used to. The most annoying thing was that I couldn't create a PDF anymore on the LSU machines, so in order to do this last necessary step, I had to sign up for a free trial of the PDF converter on Adobe's website. This sucks. It's moments like this that makes me wish that I was a real professor, so that school would just give me the equipment I need. But no. I'm a student, and have to manage doing professor things with a student's equipment. Next time i'll get Chris to help me.

Happy thing: the way LSU divides our meager stipend checks is the same amount each month during the school year, except for January when we get a bit more. I don't know why this is. But it sure was nice to get a little extra boost. We actually went on a date and got dessert, too!! *shock! amazement!*

And I bought my first maternity clothes ever. My belly just totally popped out this week. I normally wear a size 4-6 (i'm only 5'2"). I dug out some size 10s from my closet (must've been given to me or something) and have been living in those these past few weeks. But by Friday, even they were cutting uncomfortably into my belly. And my shirts are riding up the belly. And I don't have any shirts with tails!! So the rubberband thing has been inopportune. So last night, Chris and I took a turn through the maternity racks at Target. Chris is an invaluable clothes shopper companion. Every woman should be as lucky as me to have landed a husband with such an extraordinary skill. He's so good about working through the racks and finding great things. I swear, we look through the same racks, and he always finds the cutest things and the best bargains. I got a pair of basic black pants for teaching in off the clearance rack for $6, and frustrated with the meager pickings at the Target, decided to go with a basic layerable of tank with shelf-bra. Very comfy. A friend suggested I try JCPenneys, so I'm there next. Unfortunately, there's no one around I can borrow from. I think if I can find a few good staples, I don't mind wearing them to death. But I'm really getting uncomfortable and would really like to be more comfy and less fat feeling. It kind of freaked me out, too, when I was in the dressing room yesterday. I looked at my body, and it was like not mine or something. It looks funny. I thought I would be more excited about finally showing, and I am, but at the same time I feel like a fat mutant. I walk around campus (university settings are cruel...all these people in the prime of their physical life), and I feel like wearing a sign, "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant." It's kind of silly, I know. I guess I didn't think about the fact that you don't just get a pregnant belly overnight, there's a transition period of its gradually getting bigger. Hopefully with real mat. clothes I'll feel better.

Another happy thing: one of my best friends from highschool, called me with the news that she's pregnant. I was in her wedding about a year and a half ago. We were giggling about it all, and she said, "Who would've thought all those years ago when shaving our legs was still a novelty that now we would be having babies at the same time!?" It is pretty exciting.

I guess I'm not really Grumpy this evening. Maybe Sleepy (and Chilly). We had a good Sunday...good sermons. I'm just having a hard time getting from Point A to Point B. Maybe I'll just go to Point Bed.

The Spate of Spam has been INSANE!!!

Much thanks to Josiah and Co. for keeping up with it. I tried deleting a bunch this morning, but after deleting about 60 spams, and seemingly not making a dent, I'm just going to wait until Josiah's vaccuum cleaner comes through. It's crazy!

So I turned on the TV right after the solo and right before George said his vows. Then I watched the speech, listened to some of the band music and commentaries, and went off to teach my class. So I watched the main part of the inauguration. All I could think of was how cold everyone must've been sitting out there...and the poor Marine band with the cold metal instruments!!

I don't feel like I can articulate very well the problems and unsettlings I felt upon listening to the speech. I can offer some gut reactions, and keep thinking:

It's no news that I'm not a fan of Bush, and this morning did nothing to change it. It kind of freaked me out. Basically he could've titled the speech "Freedom for the Whole World," and the thesis could be: "If we want freedom in our country, we have to make sure that the whole world has our kind of freedom, or somebody might try to infringe on our freedom." Now I used the same word, freedom, repeatedly in my distillation of the thesis. Bush uses freedom, liberty, and democracy as synonyms, so you could re-read the statement as: "If we want democracy in our country, we have to make sure that the whole world has our kind of democracy, or somebody might to infringe on our democracy." It's a security thing, after all. Don't you want to be secure!? Export freedom and democracy today!!

I'm all for freedom. I'm glad I live in the U.S. and enjoy the freedoms I enjoy, but this idea of exporting a Western form democracy is freaky. It's a form of imperialism or colonialism essentially. It's the same idea that was behind the British Empire of the 19th/early 20th c. Taking the initiative to export your way of government is not necessarily a constructive way of living out one's ideal of Freedom=Good.

What was even more scary was Bush described this as the goal of U.S. policy!! Taking our Freedom and our Democracy to the ends of the world. Like he's spreading the gospel or something (only not). The GOAL of U.S. policy!??!?! The chief end of our government is to spread our government all over the world? That's what the speech said to me, and I wasn't too keen on that idea, because the consequences of this idea will essentially follow.

Bush said that it essentially our Moral Duty as a nation to uphold Freedom all over the world and that this Duty would underpin U.S. policy. So if tyrants stand in the way, knock 'em down. Tyrants are against Freedom, and we are for Freedom. It's a clear definition of good vs. evil.

But I don't think it is just that clear.

This may be part of the problem I had with the speech. Bush used very lofty, abstract, idealistic language. He spoke in the most general of terms. Throughout the speech he talks of Freedom, Democracy, and Liberty, but I still don't have a clear sense about what he means by those words. Democracy is probably the easiest to understand because we the working picture of government to fall back on, and I can only assume that he means something like our gov't when he says Democracy. But Freedom and Liberty? Those are big words with a lot of meaning, and from listening to his speech, I wonder if perhaps I see those words in slightly different shades than Bush does. I would have to think a bit further before I try to explain that difference, though.

Bush does say that when Democracy is exported all over the world, it will likely take on different shades as it encounters different cultures. I'm not sure if he understands what that means; I don't think anybody does. It might sound good as an idea, but none of us have a picture of how this looks. It's not happening in Iraq.* If anything Democracy is clashing with that culture. Democracy is essentially a Western institution. As far as I understand it,** it assumes things about the nature of an individual and that individual's function in society that is distinctly Western and humanistic. Every time Democracy flourishes in Western culture (Greece, the Enlightenment), it's with a very humanistic understanding of humans, how each human has rights pertaining to him/herself because of their humanity. Not every culture shares this essential part of the Democratic ideal.

Bush spent a few words talking about Freedom at home, not nearly as much as he talked about it abroad, which I thought was kind of weird, since he's the President of the U.S., not the President of the World. The stuff he said was kind of banal, predictable, and didn't really mean anything. Yea, who would disagree with better healthcare, retirements, education, housing? He didn't give me a better understanding about he saw those things happening, though, just that they should happen. (duh.)

The tone of speech didn't help me understand what he was going to do these next four years to make the U.S. a better place (except for knocking down the tyrants of the world), because he used such airy language. I did get somewhat of a better understanding of where he's coming from idealogically, though, and I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or not.

I mean, you can't say, "I hated his speech, because I don't want other countries to have Freedom." Freedom is good thing, right? I'm not down on Freedom. I'm glad I live in the U.S. and enjoy the freedoms I do enjoy. I'm just not sure if our national leader to be implementing this ideology in the practical way that he is.

At least it's a 4 year term, and not like a king, where he'd rule for his lifetime.

*After the speech the TV guys kept talking about "a rock", and I was like "what rock? what are they talking about it?" Then I realized they were saying "iraq". :P
**wh. may not be a vast understanding, since I spend most of political ponderings on monarchies of the Middle Ages

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, book 6 is scheduled to be released on July 16.

Elvis is due somewhere between July 10 and July 17. He might get an earlier introduction to Harry Potter than I intended. :-)

That's mainly how I feel about yesterday, my first day back this semester at LSU. I was absolutely pooped by the end of the day, but I survived and made it home in one piece.

The building my department (and several others) has been in is now closed for renovation. We all have moved across campus to a different building. Yesterday felt like the first day at a New School, not sure where to go, parking in a new parking lot, getting keys, trying to find my way around, having to do a grand wander just to find a ladies' room (when you're pregnant, that's an important bit of information). I kept bumping into other students who looked like how I felt.

And nobody seemed to be around! A few professors had hours in the afternoon, but it felt strangely empty. By the end of the day I was the last one there, sitting in room full of empty shelves and piled boxes, staring out at my view of the next building, into other offices. It felt weird and a little lonely. The floor where all our offices is dark and close feeling. Low ceilings and concrete walls lend the oppressive feel of Communist architecture. Once inside offices, though, it's not so bad. My professor next door has two cozy rugs and a potted plant--his office feels quite pleasant.

I think once things are a bit more settled and when I've gotten used to my surroundings it won't feel quite so strange any more. It will be nice when the seminar room is unpacked, and we can start to have Packed-Lunch Club again. And I'll definitely need to bring more food than I brought yesterday. I brought a good lunch, but not enough snacks.

My classes will be good. I'm taking a seminar in medieval notation, which should be great fun and is my only music class. Then I'm taking a lecture class on the Renaissance. It's a 4000-level class, so there's mostly undergrads. It's straightforward, and I really like the prof (who I've had before), so I'm sure the class will be just fine. Then I'm also up to take another history seminar of readings in medieval history, but I think a schedule conflict that I hoped would be resolved won't be able to be resolved, so I probably won't be able to take it. Bummer. So now I have to think of what to do. There's no other class in the university that I could take, so I'll probably do an independent study, because I need those 3 more hours of graduate credit. I think I need them in history, too, for my minor. We'll see.

I also have papers to finish :P and a dissertation to start. Should be a good semester.