asteroid B612

Just kidding. About the hippy part.

I went to my first La Leche League meeting today. I won't go into all the reasons it felt great to be there--other than, duh, breastfeeding support. I'm looking forward to nursing another baby. And it was nice to be around a group of women with a similar parenting style.

E was pretty easy to breastfeed--once we finally got a good latch, which took a couple of months. I think that was the only "side effect" of his being born 4 weeks early, an underdeveloped suck reflex. I'm not sure if I would've persevered through the HOURS it took to get a good feeding if my mom hadn't been there cheering me on. It convinced me that breastfeeding needs good support. So I'm looking forward to the fellowship of LLL.

I was trying to explain this to myself earlier today, why we do what we do with respect to some of our parenting choices. I feel like this post by Sally Clarkson really nailed a lot of what I was trying to hash out in my own brain:

Not too long ago, I was meeting with a sweet mom in a coffee shop and she brought her two children along. They were sweet children, but they were all over her and ran her ragged. I was talking with my older children later about it and asked them what we did differently. It was humorous to hear how opinionated they were, but it also reminded me how intentionally we taught them to be patient and to wait their turn–because they all remembered it the same way. It is the concept that I call self-government–probably a Victorian character quality that I read about along the way and in a book about the principle approach to life.

The definition of self-government is the idea that a person learns to command himself, his impulses, his work habits, his emotions, His intellect and talents and rule over his will in a productive way. Children can begin this at a very early age, but it is also of utmost importance to adults–as one cannot be a mature believer unless one has mastered self-government and self-control and patience.

...

Sometimes when people find out that Clay and I are grace-based in our approach to parenting, people assume that that means lenient and undisciplined. However, we were very idealistic and had high expectations for our children, but we instructed them through consistent training, not primarily through force and multiple spankings but through relational discipleship based training. Our philosophy also looked at each child differently–as an individual–so that we could best figure out what appealed to and reached teh heart of each child. Introverts responded differently and behaved differently than our extroverts. Boys were differently wired than our girls. Learning issues and maturity levels greatly influenced a child’s ability to be mature. All factors which cause us to understand that we needed to appeal to each child’s heart based on knowing the heart of each child.

And there's 10 weeks more. Could I get any bigger?
I don't think I'll go all the way to 40 weeks. I really don't. I'm guessing somewhere around 37 or 38.
(If I'm totally wrong, do not...I repeat...DO NOT rub it in my face or remind me in any way that I thought it would be a little earlier.)
The midwife did report on Wednesday at my appointment that the baby was head down. I know this doesn't mean anything by way of when the baby will actually be born. But it's the first step. And a relief when that happens.

Anyway, given my previous experience with Ellis, I'm going to be ready for this baby by 36 weeks. 'Cause I'm sure it's more fun sitting around waiting and prepared than utterly unprepared with a new baby. Besides, if I'm waiting, I can always find something to do, like organize the pantry or something. Or lie around and watch TV. You know, a variety of constructive options.

But since this baby is my second I don't have to start from scratch. That's nice.

So I'm drafting my to-do list here. Any commentaries on helpful/unhelpful things are welcome

Stuff To Get:
* sidecar cosleeper thingy. I'm one of those people who before she had a baby never understood the appeal of cosleeping...until I had a baby, and then I couldn't imagine doing otherwise. Love it. But I'm also a very light sleeper, and think I might do better if I had a little distance when not nursing, but still close enough that I wouldn't have to sit up or move or anything to nurse. I like the added safety a cosleeper would bring, too. i want to get a full-size so that I can use it as long as possible. I really don't want to set up the crib until at least 6 mos, and then use it only for naps, which we did with E and really liked. I have a pack'n'play with bassinet insert, too. But I plan on using that in living room behind the couch as a changing table until I feel like getting down on the floor where my basket system is for E. It might also be a nice nap place (esp if this baby is deaf, too. haha!) or safe place to put baby while i go to the bathroom kind of thing. So the cosleeper is probably the biggest purchase. That and a second carseat for when he grows out of the infant seat, but that can wait a bit.

* a highchair. I borrowed the one I used for E. I plan on getting Ikea's Antilop. My kitchen is SO small, I can't imagine having anything larger than this. Besides, I love that it's so simple, definitely redefines cleaning a highchair. And at $20, how could I resist.

* Moriah made me a cool pouch sling with padded legs. I'm very excited about this. I would also like to try a wrap, and I'm hoping I can meet someone who has one for me to try. I've been looking online for babywearing groups and am not having much luck. There was a group that met near here not long ago, but they met on Sunday, so no luck there. And I already have the Beco. So I feel pretty set for my babywearing needs. The stroller continues to gather dust in the back our van. It has its place; I'm not totally anti-stroller. But I will admit, it's not my favorite baby accessory, and I see no need for strollers in the first several months. And it's still in good shape, so I don't need a new one. That's just my style.

* Grammy just got us two swaddling blankets that are reported truly to be miracle blankets. I'm SO excited about this. ANYthing that will potentially help this baby be a better sleeper.

* I may get a couple of fresh new onesies and nightgowns for him, too. So that not everything he has is hand-me-down.

* I need new nursing bras. I threw away the ones I had before after E weaned, because they were so worn out.

STUFF TO DO
* Total Bedroom Makeover. We have to rearrange our teeny, tiny bedroom in order to make room for the cosleeper. And we're going to patch the plaster and paint it! And do something about extra storage/shelving and work on general coziness. I may even make new curtains. I need to make a quilt for the bed, too. It will be nothing fancy. But we can't use the duvet while cosleeping. And it's too hot for summer anyway.

* Sew!
-- The living room curtains. Chris would love it if I would sew a couch cover before our couch is totally destroyed. Some big pillows for toddlers to roll around on contributing to Ultimate Living Room Coziness.
-- The quilt. Maybe bedroom curtains.
-- Cute little lightweight cotton infant pants, because I think they are the cutest ever. Burp cloths (b/c spitup is infinitely more tolerable if you have awesome looking burp clothes). The diaper bag of my dreams, with compartments just the way I like. Soft baby shoes.
-- Some dressup stuff for E for his birthday in June.
-- Get caught up on gifts.

* Read stuff.
-- I want to read What your Doctor May Not Tell you about Children's Vaccinations and The Vaccination Book from Dr. Sears. I'm interested in delayed/selective vaccinations. I think vaccinating can be a good thing, but I don't think little babies should be pumped up with all the stuff, nor should they be vaccinated against STDs (um. yea.). But I need to know more. And I think I may have to find a new pediatrician, too, which I dread doing. But I have some numbers to call.
-- My birthin' books. I'm mostly going through Natural Childbirth the bradley way, which I like b/c is common sense/practical. I've also been reading Hypnobirthing, which, if you can get past the title, has some helpful things regarding relaxation. I'm not sure if I can totally get into it, but I like it's overall concept.

Okay. So there's my list. If I think of more, I'll add to it. But it's nice to write it all out. It's SO NICE to just be able to relax and have fun getting ready for baby, instead of madly finishing a semester and packing up house and home and moving across the country mere weeks before the baby is born. I didn't get to nest with my first baby, so I'm soaking it up now.

Just when you think you have two-year-old figured out, he goes wonky on you. Morphs into a new human. There's a hundred little ways he's growing and changing. He wants to do it himself--he gets the juice out the fridge, hands me the bottle to pour for him, and puts it back. (I'm dreading the day when he decided he can pour it, too.) He comes up with more games to play. He obsesses over his cars. He hangs out in Blue Ikea Bags.

And then after two years of a consistent bedtime routine that starts with a bath, which has always loved, he decides that he hates baths. I mean loathes them. Like the water is going to make him melt. And then two nights ago, baths are okay again. We never stopped giving him a bath, because we can't think outside the box of the Bedtime Routine. We all depend on it, so even if he just got his toes wet, we still could check that off the Routine Checklist.

And the CI? um, he's never been thrilled with wearing it, but was getting into a new groove. But then, he just decided he was over it. And now it's cool again.

Wearing shoes? well, he can be persuaded to wear yellow, rubber boots.

Because I'm the mom, I see the long-term benefits of having a bath, wearing the CI, wearing shoes, so I have to find a way to speak his language. And he will be persuaded eventually. For a 2yo life is play, a game. That's how he learns. I can't compromise on the things that need doing, but I can alter how I approach him about doing them.

This is a typical CI-putting-on session:
Me: "It's time to put on your CI." (signing)
E: shakes head, signs "no", covers his ear.
Me: "Should Mommy wear it?"
E: laughs, shakes head no
Me: "Should Monkey [or Bear or Cow or Doll or Lightening McQueen] wear it?"
E: laughs, shakes head no
Me: "Whose CI is it?"
E: signs MINE, laughing
Me: "Where does it go? On your toes?"
E: laughs, no
Me: "On your thumb?"
E: laughs, no
Me: "On your nose?"
E: laughs, no
Me: "Where?"
E: laughing, offers his right ear, where I calmly attach it to his head

Repeat scenario for dressing, diaper changing, baths, eating. At the end of the day we have a cared for toddler and a mom expert in diplomacy, seriously, the UN should hire me. Sometimes he needs more of this others. Sometimes, he's just like OK! What can I say? Toddlers like routines. Even if it is a play routine.

I only had to do the CI Routine 4 times yesterday. Beats 4 times in an hour.