asteroid B612

I guess I'm officially over childbirth. I had my postpartum checkup with the midwife on Monday, and everything checked up fine. I still feel a little tenderness where my artery tore, but it's all healed fine. The midwife I saw this time was one I hadn't met before--she said she used to be full time, but now just helps out for office hours in the summer. I really, really liked her. I wish she could be my midwife forever. Oh well. I chatted a long time with her about the next phase of things, being Not Pregnant.

I kind of felt a little nostalgic as I drove out to the birth center again. It had been seven weeks, and summer had set in where i left off in spring. i have no other reason to go to that part of town other than to go to the birth center, so I hadn't been in that direction since then. I thought of the trips out there in the winter, watching spring come through increasingly frequent appointments. Remembering the sweet scent of something flowering while I paced outside during early labor.

Except for the end when I would leave Still Pregnant, I found the appointments satisfying; usually very quick, but I was very much part of the system and not left to the mercies of it. I wasn't abandoned in waiting rooms to do my homework waiting for an OB who was off in surgery somewhere. It felt more like a little visit with the midwife. And I'll miss our little visits in a way, I guess. Though I certainly don't miss being pregnant. um, no.

Okay, mother of two signing off now.

All the gory details. Read on at your own risk. ;-)

So it's hard to say when labor really started. Weeks of regular contractions that began around 34 weeks didn't help matters. Then in the last two weeks I hardly had any contractions--just a few random Braxton-Hicks here and there, which did not help my morale. But we don't need to dwell on my personal roller coaster of the end of the pregnancy. I'm just glad that part is over with.

The due date I figured was Sunday, May 25, which, incidentally, was the day he was born. heh, heh. I felt a little vindicated. On Saturday morning I lost my plug and began spotting. I don't think I could've been more cheerful than I was all day. I knew the end was in sight. I knew it could be a few more days but probably not much longer.

In the afternoon, I took a nap, because that is what one does when one resembles a whale, and just in case.. Around 4.30 I started to get very light contractions, that gradually seemed to fall into some regularity, but they were very light and short. In the evening we went over to my ILs for supper, and I'm feeling downright jolly. The contractions were get a tad stronger, and around 5.30 I was timing them at about 5-10 mins apart, though still pretty light and short. By 7 things were still pretty consistent and progressing a bit, so I thought it would be a good idea if Ellis spent the night with Grammy and Poppy, so while Chris was giving him a bath, I called the Birth Center to see what they thought.

My contractions were about 5 mins apart and getting a bit stronger, but still very manageable. Since I was Group B Strep positive, the midwife wanted me to come in right away so I could get a dose of the antibiotic. I was a little worried about leaving Ellis because he'd been in kind of a funky mood all week, so I got down next to him and explained that mommy and daddy were leaving and he was staying to sleep with Grammy (which he's done before, so wasn't a huge deal). He just looked at me and said "bye! bye!" and gave me a friendly shove, like, well, go on already! Ok. Ellis was cool.

We stopped by our house on the way to get our stuff and C made a pot of coffee. The contractions were getting a bit more uncomfy sitting in the car. We arrived at the Birth Center around 8/8.30. Some of my hindwaters had leaked on the way, but thankfully, I didn't have full water breakage. The midwife checked me and I was 3cm and 75% effaced, so I felt like we could settle in for the long haul. They gave a round of antibiotics by IV, which took about 20 mins, and then unhooked me leaving the heparin lock in my arm to hook up later if need be. Then I could move around freely.

By then it was dusk and it was a beautiful spring evening, so I just went outside and walked. And walked and walked. They have a nice little garden in the back, which was a pleasant, and we were the only family there, so I just took laps in the parking lot enjoying the refreshing night air touched with a scent of something nice and flowering. My parents came around 9.30/10; I had asked my mom to come. My sister was around, too. So I walked, sipped on my water bottle, chatted between contractions with my family, paused to work through contractions and give my pelvis a little rocking action, and then I would come in, go to the bathroom, the midwife would take a listen to the baby's heartbeat and take my temp, and then I'd go back outside. It was a very, very nice way to spend the first part of labor.

Around 10.30 I began to feel myself turning the corner a little bit. Contractions required more focus and were lasting longer. Around 11 I was ready for the jacuzzi. Once I got in there things really sped up. It was wonderful when I first got in, I could just let my body relax and I found the jet streams really soothing. As a result, I felt like what there was left to dilate went pretty quickly and contractions got really intense really fast, and I found myself vocalizing as a way to work through them, just some kind of release really helped.

Unfortunately, at the birth center, they don't do water births...something about regulations requiring a tub with open sides that they just weren't able to fit in with their floor plan. So when I started feeling like I had pressure to push (at about 11.30/45), I had to get out, which I was actually okay with. It was really intense even though I was in the water and I felt like I needed more support anyway. On the way to the bed I had a couple more contractions. When the midwife checked me I was 9 cm.

Then I hit that nether region of transition, which I don't really remember too much of. It was very, very intense. I don't really remember making a decision to push. All of a sudden my body was pushing. It was kind of crazy at first, but I found my groove to work with the contractions and the midwife was coaching me. I could feel his head gradually crowning. And then she said, "Ok, get the baby out in this next contraction." So I pushed like crazy and yelled like crazy, and out he came. They put him on my chest and he cried lustily.

But then they told me that he had a really long cord, and it was wrapped around his neck twice and around his feet. His heart rate had dropped just as he was descending, so she had had me push him out fast rather than in a controlled, supported way. So I ended up tearing my perineum and clitoral artery, which meant the next several minutes were devoted to the very unpleasant task of getting stitches. I was really bummed about the stitches, but really happy that Marlowe was okay. He was born at 12.12 am on Sunday morning, about four hours after we got to the birth center.

Marlowe stayed on my chest for a long time. He latched on after about fifteen minutes and sucked for almost an hour. When he seemed content, they went ahead and measured and weighed him. I was shocked that he was only 6'14"! I expected him to be a lot bigger. I love my tiny peanut baby, though, so I'm pleasantly surprised.

After everything got situated and quieted down, and my parents left to spend the night at our apartment, I took a quick shower, and then Chris and I snuggled to sleep with our little baby. I actually didn't sleep for very long, though. Hormones, adrenalin, staring at the baby.

Ellis came in the morning with a big balloon for the new baby. He loved the baby instantly and has been hugging and kissing him and signing "I love you" ever since. I had matching shirts for the boys and we went home around noon.

I've been convalescing at home ever since. My mom and sister have been here taking care of me and Ellis has spent a few nights with Grammy. Recovery is going well, but the stitches make it harder. (grr) I'm really tired, though. I haven't been sleeping well.

Marlowe has been nursing well. He has a good latch with minimal coaching. Yay! It took Ellis a good month to get a good latch. It's nice to have experience on my side this time. Marlowe has dark hair and brown eyes. Yesterday the nurse came out from the birth center for one last checkup. He passed his hearing screen; we definitely notice him startling more than Ellis ever did. Chris already has nicknamed him "Peanut".

Having a baby at a freestanding birth center with a midwife was infinitely better than my hospital experience!! Night and day. I had also contemplated doing a home birth, but in the end, I was happy with the birth center. I liked not having to think about gathering supplies together, but I missed building a relationship with one midwife. There were seven at this birth center, and I just got whoever was on call. She was great and I had a really good experience. Most of all, though, I really liked the freedom I had. It was nice to manage my own labor and be in a comfortable environment.

squared circles - Clocks
Originally uploaded by Leo Reynolds.

Well, something is finally happening. It looks like we may be on the home stretch. I think we may be a family of four before the long weekend is over. I don't want to get your hopes up too much. And don't start calling me every two hours, but things are looking really promising.

*yawn* There was not good sleep to be had in these parts last night. Not sure what was bothering E, but he had trouble sleeping. And, of course, there's the whole pregnancy thing. All that after a busy day heading into the city for speech therapy. Yes, I think it's a sleepy day.

For the past few weeks, I've kept thinking that May 23 was somebody's birthday. At first, I thought it was E's little friend, but his birthday was last week. Maybe May 23 belongs to one of my million cousins.

Or maybe today is this baby's bday. *sigh*

Not much else to blog about this morning. My sister is coming around for a few days. That'll be nice.

Roughly ten weeks difference:

I've hit the wall. No more coping. Just crying until this baby is born.

I had an midwife appt this morning. Short and sweet. Everything fine. Now I kind of wished I had asked for an exam to jiggle things up a bit. I was too tired to think.

Here's one to scare teenagers from too much hanky-panky (kidding!):

Yesterday:

Went to midwife. Still pregnant.
Cleaned house.
Granny, Mom, and Luisa came.
Made taco salad for lunch.
Grace H. came over.
Went to the arboretum and walked and walked.
Crashed back at home.
Sam came.
Had pizza.
Girls left.
Sam left.
Ellis decided to wake up in the middle of the night for several hours.

Today:
Ellis decided to wake up way early.
Got ready for school.
Took E to school.
Went to parent meeting.
Chatted with another mom for awhile.
Went to CHOP.
Got a Happy Meal for lunch. (so sue me)
Went to speech therapy.
Took a very circuitous route home through center city and Fairmount park due to university graduations and regatta on the river.
Picked up dinner at friend's house. (thankyouthankyou)
Ate.
Crashed on couch.
Still pregnant.

Overheard:
"Still here?" 35 times (rough approximation)
"When are you due?" 27 times
"You look ready!" 15 times
"Boy or Girl?" 12 times
"What are you doing here?" 7 times
"Are you having twins?" 1 time
"Shall I call labor and delivery?" 1 time (security guard at CHOP)
no comment. priceless

...is just stinkin' tedious.

At the beginning of this pregnancy, I pictured the end of this pregnancy to be something like having the baby around 38 weeks after feeling fairly decent, cleaning my house thoroughly, and making a few extra meals for the freezer.

AS IF!

Everywhere birthing information tells you that the one difference between true labor and false labor is regular or irregular contractions. Not true. I have regular contractions all the time. A few times a week, usually around the weekend since 34 weeks I'll a few hours of contractions every 5 mins (this is in addition to the random Braxton-hicks felt regularly). They are non-progressive and they peter out. They are not particularly painful though have gotten stronger by the week. And they are wearing me out. It makes more sense to call it pre-labor, because in the end, they are useful for toning the uterine muscle and will probably stand me in good stead once I finally hit active labor. Then there's the incredible pelvic pressure that inspires permanent recumbency. In the meantime, my house is a wreck and getting food on the table is a minor miracle.

Kind of wonder if "efficient" is the right word for my labor process?

So this is just to say, that, though expecting a baby soon has done great things for my blog stats, I'm still hanging around in pre-labor purgatory.

This morning, E and I were out the door bright and early for my weekly midwife appointment. All is well. We're just waiting. I measured 35 cm, which is a nice size. I asked if she thought he was engaged (in the pelvis) yet, but she said she didn't expect him to be until after I started labor, he was sitting nicely in the dip, though. But I could've told you that. He's been hanging out there for a long time.

Since I'm GBS positive, they want me there early on to get my doses of antibiotics. And since my first labor was, as she described it, efficient (5 hours of active labor, with a little help from Pit), my second labor will likely be even more "efficient." So "your bags are packed, right?"

She also said something that was music to a pregnant woman's ears: just rest as much as you possibly can. She did not say that I would go into labor tomorrow. She did not say that I would go into labor at 40 weeks. She did say that we're just waiting for the baby to be ready. And was very chipper about it. I did not cry after my appointment.

Afterwards, E and I went to Park Day and met up with our buddies. Maddie is moving soon. Boohoo. I found them in the tunnel playing. Maddie said they were watching TV. E was just kicking the sides. Funny to see the difference between girl and boy right there.

I stayed at the park for three hours with E. It took him about two minutes to fall asleep tonight.

C started a new job. Yea, as if two weren't enough. Fortunately he can do some of it from home, but sometimes needs to go to the office, about a 35-45 min drive from our house. We have one car. Hopefully, with this job we can buy another. C is basically a self-taught computer geek. He's basking in the fact that with his most recent two jobs he's getting paid to work on the computer. It's nice to see him enjoy his work and use his skills.

You can watch the documentary, The Business of Being Born, free-streaming online: here.

I've already written about it. But I thought I'd put in an extra plug. Upon rewatching it, I'd highly recommend it to women are pregnant for their first time (or any time!) or wanting to become pregnant, because it really goes into the choices you have and gives clear information that your doctor might not be as forthwith about (like about Pitocin and stuff).

My two cents.

Anyway, I rewatched it this weekend hoping it would be a little pep rally, but it wasn't really. I'm trying to take each day at a time.

Reminding myself that weeks of prelabor will probably hold me in good stead at the end. In the meantime, I'm very tired. And thankful for all the graciousness friends and family are bestowing upon me.

...while I wait.

I figured that I really ought to make some baby shoes for my own kid. I found this linen in the scraps bin at the fabric store, and it's SO SOFT. I love it!!! I may just start a new affair with linen.

My mom still has my sewing machine, so I hand-stitched these shoes. It actually didn't take very long and has been kind of therapeutic. The onesie is just a simple applique with that awesome applique fusible stuff.